Friday, October 08, 2010
Wir Sind Ein Volk
This weekend my fair city of Leipzig celebrates the 21st Anniversary of the Friedliche (Peaceful) Revolution of East Germany against Communist rule. In 1989 there was a massive protest in the square in front of Nikolaikirche (St. Nicholas Church) where a group of 320,000 East Germans gathered to peacefully protest the Communist government and the separation of East and West Germany. These peaceful protests were held for many weeks, led by Nikolaikirche's Protestant preacher Christian Führer.The anti-Communist citizens of Leipzig took to the streets on October 9th with a chant of "We Are The People," protesting the oppressive government and demanding the reunification of Germany and the freedom of democracy. Other German cities (such as Berlin) immediately followed suit, and a month later the Wall had fallen.
Friedliche Revolution, October 9, 1989
Nikolaikirche Denkmal (St. Nicholas Church Monument)
Though I credit having Annika (my sister-from-another-mister & German foreign exchange student) living with us when I was in high school as being the catalyst for my interest in German language and culture, I am probably discounting a major factor for my interest, which is the fall of the Berlin Wall. The Wall came down when I was in first grade and was probably the first political action I was ever keenly aware of. I can actually remember seeing newspaper and television images of this happening, and it must have had a profound effect on a six year old me to see hundreds of thousands of people claiming their freedom and peacefully reuniting their country. I can't ever know what it must have been like for those who were there on those nights; at the Nikolaikirche on Oct 9th or in Berlin on November 9th when the Wall came down; they must have experienced a sense of exhilaration so powerful that even imagining it gets me choked up. This year is the celebration of the 20th Anniversary of German Reunification.
The German people seem to have an extremely tense relationship with their past- the second World War colors their view of themselves and their country to this day. To me, though, the fact that they earned their freedom through solidarity and peaceful protest is profoundly moving and inspiring and keeps me fascinated with this place and it's people.
The Day the Wall Came Down, sculpture outside of the George H.W. Bush Presidential Library
Thursday, October 07, 2010
Over the fondue pot...
Tonight my lovely mitbewohnerin (roommate) invited me to eat dinner with her and a group of her friends. It was so lovely of her to invite me, and the fondue was absolutely delicious. But unfortunately, I am still an absolute failure in social situations with Germans. My German speaking abilities are so rudimentary that it's laughable and inevitably embarrassing. I do think they give me a break... I try to make it clear I haven't studied all that much German and that I've only been here for a few weeks. Yet I still find my cheeks burning whenever someone asks me what, presumably, is a very simple question. Something like "Where do you come from?" can trip me up so much it's ridiculous. I know it's my problem entirely, and that no one is judging me harshly for not understanding... but having to ask "Wie bitte?" (pardon me?) 3 times when someone asks a third grade level question is just not cool.
Last night I had a conversation at the kneipe (bar) with my friend James about stepping outside ones comfort zone... that it's important to do so because otherwise one finds themselves trapped in a very staid existence. I heartily agree, and therefore found it important to accept tonight's invitation to dinner with 7 German speakers rather than booking it to a place where I could speak English with other Americans. It was sort of difficult, and I couldn't really understand the nuances of the conversations, but I could get the general idea. It's nice to hear a stream of conversation and be able to pick up one out of every four or five words. I feel like I'm improving despite myself and I think being in just that sort of situation is exactly what I need. Despite how embarrassing it can sometimes feel.
Things have been going so well here in Leipzig. I couldn't be happier. I have a room in a really lovely apartment with two other girls, I am enrolled in some very awesome classes at the Universität (one of which is a pedagogic class!) and I have made friends with some truly wonderful people. I have nothing to complain about. I just hope my German speaking/understanding picks up more quickly than it has been so far.
Last night I had a conversation at the kneipe (bar) with my friend James about stepping outside ones comfort zone... that it's important to do so because otherwise one finds themselves trapped in a very staid existence. I heartily agree, and therefore found it important to accept tonight's invitation to dinner with 7 German speakers rather than booking it to a place where I could speak English with other Americans. It was sort of difficult, and I couldn't really understand the nuances of the conversations, but I could get the general idea. It's nice to hear a stream of conversation and be able to pick up one out of every four or five words. I feel like I'm improving despite myself and I think being in just that sort of situation is exactly what I need. Despite how embarrassing it can sometimes feel.
Things have been going so well here in Leipzig. I couldn't be happier. I have a room in a really lovely apartment with two other girls, I am enrolled in some very awesome classes at the Universität (one of which is a pedagogic class!) and I have made friends with some truly wonderful people. I have nothing to complain about. I just hope my German speaking/understanding picks up more quickly than it has been so far.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Leaving.
I can't believe it's already August 25th. Time continues it's inevitable march toward September 7th, The Day I Leave, with little consent for my wishes. My wishes being: for every day to stretch interminably, filled with laughter and friends, for every night to be filled with glorious dreams and to wake up in a familiar bed, in a familiar home, and to tiptoe downstairs to a familiar family. In less than two weeks this will all be turned on it's head. In less than two weeks I'll be boarding a trans-Atlantic airplane that will carry me to my new life, the airplane that signifies the end of the other new life that I've cultivated for myself this year. And a new life it is, too... I have met more people, become close to more people, and done more exciting things in the twelve months since I've been home from Europe than I had in twenty six years previous. I have crammed more friendships, roadtrips, and experiences into the past year than I can even remember, and I'm proud of that. I'm proud of the person I'm becoming. It's a rough road, but I can see myself "getting there," even if it's slowly. I can see myself becoming the confident, intelligent, motivated, self-actualized person I ultimately want to be.
Leaving this family will be difficult. I've left families before and it's always a bitter pill to swallow. The first family I nannied for had two sparklingly beautiful girls, the Ladybirds as I still like to refer to them. I left them because the job simply no longer existed once the youngest entered full time school. Our last day was a mini-carnival... Eating cake, jumping on the trampoline, playing on the swings, decorating hand dyed tie dye tee shirts together (that said "My nanny loves me" with handprint "wings" on the back.) I still have the photos of the three of us in our shirts, hugging and squeezing and looking happy as clams despite how heartbroken we all were. I still miss them. That was over six years ago. The girls are now tweens, which is fairly mindblowing. I'm lucky enough to hear from their mom once in a while, who sends me pictures of them, now tall, lean, with the same curious bright eyes and long, thick shiny hair that they've had since they were children.
The second family I left to work for the rugrats I work for now. Those were the days of Papoose and Roo, the reason this very blog exists. Papoose was a chubby, grinning, drooling eight month old when I started. I spent my whole day with him alone, because more often than not Roo was in school. Roo was (and is) an introspective but curious sort of girl, with long, willowy limbs and an unruly head of kinky dark brown hair. I left them by hopping on a plane too, it was my second air travel trip and I was headed to Minnesota. But we all knew that when I got back I wouldn't be their caregiver anymore and it was difficult to leave them. There were various reasons that I did... better pay, a closer proximity to work (therefore a shorter walk/bike/bus ride) health insurance... but what it ultimately came down to was not feeling a real "click" with Roo. She's a wonderful girl, I just don't think I'm built to handle a kid like that for a prolonged period. Now Papoose is six, Roo eleven. They have a new little sister who was born in Texas, so I don't have a fitting nickname for her being that we've never met. Despite the fact that I left them willingly for a new job, it was gut wrenching. Especially leaving Papoose, who I felt an incredibly strong bond with. But it had to be done and I wouldn't change it now.
This "new" family has been my lifeline through so much. Leaving these kids now is going to be the hardest. I've been with my oldest two, known simply to readers as "Boy" and "Girl" and my youngest two, the Moose and the Goose, for what seems like forever (but is in reality only four short years.) They have been the most challenging, and the most rewarding. The parents here have supported me through the two most difficult times in my life. They allowed me to take an entire summer off to travel Europe and come back with a guaranteed job. Hell, they put me up in their attic (which is more like an apartment) for a year. I've taken the kids to the Adirondacks cabin, I've attended family functions, I've been to all their plays, ballet performances and cello recitals. I've seen them through illness and frustration and tiredness and anger. I've seen them through it all. They're almost my own. And soon I'll be passing them off.
The families I worked/work for have been there for me more strongly throughout the years than I'd have ever expected. They're a support system I don't think I'd ever find at a desk job; a loving, trusting safety net that no corporate career would have afforded me. Sure, I'm poor as a church mouse, but... I have experience. I have friendships. I have love.
Leaving this family will be difficult. I've left families before and it's always a bitter pill to swallow. The first family I nannied for had two sparklingly beautiful girls, the Ladybirds as I still like to refer to them. I left them because the job simply no longer existed once the youngest entered full time school. Our last day was a mini-carnival... Eating cake, jumping on the trampoline, playing on the swings, decorating hand dyed tie dye tee shirts together (that said "My nanny loves me" with handprint "wings" on the back.) I still have the photos of the three of us in our shirts, hugging and squeezing and looking happy as clams despite how heartbroken we all were. I still miss them. That was over six years ago. The girls are now tweens, which is fairly mindblowing. I'm lucky enough to hear from their mom once in a while, who sends me pictures of them, now tall, lean, with the same curious bright eyes and long, thick shiny hair that they've had since they were children.
The second family I left to work for the rugrats I work for now. Those were the days of Papoose and Roo, the reason this very blog exists. Papoose was a chubby, grinning, drooling eight month old when I started. I spent my whole day with him alone, because more often than not Roo was in school. Roo was (and is) an introspective but curious sort of girl, with long, willowy limbs and an unruly head of kinky dark brown hair. I left them by hopping on a plane too, it was my second air travel trip and I was headed to Minnesota. But we all knew that when I got back I wouldn't be their caregiver anymore and it was difficult to leave them. There were various reasons that I did... better pay, a closer proximity to work (therefore a shorter walk/bike/bus ride) health insurance... but what it ultimately came down to was not feeling a real "click" with Roo. She's a wonderful girl, I just don't think I'm built to handle a kid like that for a prolonged period. Now Papoose is six, Roo eleven. They have a new little sister who was born in Texas, so I don't have a fitting nickname for her being that we've never met. Despite the fact that I left them willingly for a new job, it was gut wrenching. Especially leaving Papoose, who I felt an incredibly strong bond with. But it had to be done and I wouldn't change it now.
This "new" family has been my lifeline through so much. Leaving these kids now is going to be the hardest. I've been with my oldest two, known simply to readers as "Boy" and "Girl" and my youngest two, the Moose and the Goose, for what seems like forever (but is in reality only four short years.) They have been the most challenging, and the most rewarding. The parents here have supported me through the two most difficult times in my life. They allowed me to take an entire summer off to travel Europe and come back with a guaranteed job. Hell, they put me up in their attic (which is more like an apartment) for a year. I've taken the kids to the Adirondacks cabin, I've attended family functions, I've been to all their plays, ballet performances and cello recitals. I've seen them through illness and frustration and tiredness and anger. I've seen them through it all. They're almost my own. And soon I'll be passing them off.
The families I worked/work for have been there for me more strongly throughout the years than I'd have ever expected. They're a support system I don't think I'd ever find at a desk job; a loving, trusting safety net that no corporate career would have afforded me. Sure, I'm poor as a church mouse, but... I have experience. I have friendships. I have love.
Monday, August 02, 2010
Moving Forward
Here's as good a place as any to lay out the master plan... In 36 (frighteningly short) days, I will be uprooting myself and possibly transforming the entire outlook of my future. In 36 days I will be stepping on a plane bound for London, by way of Iceland (can't wait to touch down in Reykjavik!)and after that, a train to Leipzig, Germany. I'll be spending almost a whole year in Leipzig as an exchange student at the Universität Leipzig. After that... well, the plan is; student teach in Buffalo, graduate with an Art Education degree (minor in German) in December, and be off to Brooklyn by January. Once I get to Brooklyn however, I'm not entirely sure what I would do. Ostensibly, I would look for work as a teacher. However, I might try to find another accommodating nanny gig that would allow me to seek my Masters in Art Ed at CUNY Brooklyn College. Another option is getting certification in German and teaching that as well, but I have time to make that decision.
As with all plans, these are only tentative. I mean, it's the ideal right now but who knows what might happen in a year in Europe? Wish me luck, all! Or, as they say in Deutschland, "Daumen drucken!"
As with all plans, these are only tentative. I mean, it's the ideal right now but who knows what might happen in a year in Europe? Wish me luck, all! Or, as they say in Deutschland, "Daumen drucken!"
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
The end is nigh...
Hours tick by like minutes... days slip away in heartbeats and eye-blinks. It's summer and time is elusive, stealthily flowing by, frustratingly out of reach, try as we might to slow it's passing. These warm mornings, punctuated by the calls of birds, one sips coffee on the back deck, body held still as if to freeze the moments, extend them, savour them and grasp them, selfishly trying to hold summer past it's allotted limit.
My time seems not my own because once again, I am moving on. If I count the number of days, I might cry again so it's better I don't. The summer will continue to trip away and we will all be propelled closer and closer to September without our consent. As the children grow excited (or wary) about their next year at school, I too will be hurtling towards a new reality.
September marks the end of my longest lasting, most fulfilling and indeed, most intimate job as a nanny. I have become more ingrained in the lives of this family than I could have imagined when this position began. After four years, my own life has seen many jarring losses, a three month sojourn to Europe, and the dissolution of a seven year relationship. The past year of my life has been spent as a live-in nanny, and I can't begin to express what a positive experience that has been. Despite many, many challenges, this family has done whatever it could to keep me with them and for that I am more grateful than they may ever know.
They gave me more than I imagined they would when I was bereaved, they encouraged me to continue my own education while still working for them, and they gave me a place to live when I was living out of a suitcase at my parents house 20 miles from work and school.
I have settled into their home now, the third floor has become a home to me. It didn't hurt that this place had already been my second home for over three years. But soon (I've given myself the start-date of August first) I will begin emptying the attic of it's remnants of me. I will turn it back into the family's spare bedroom, my own items will be sold or given away or carefully packed and stored for my return in July of next year.
I can't imagine my life without this job. I try to think about no longer being a nanny and it seems absurd. This line of work has been one of the most important things in my life for nearly 7 years now. They say do what you love. I've been lucky enough to live that adage for almost a decade. When I'm working, it doesn't feel like working- it just feels like living.
My time seems not my own because once again, I am moving on. If I count the number of days, I might cry again so it's better I don't. The summer will continue to trip away and we will all be propelled closer and closer to September without our consent. As the children grow excited (or wary) about their next year at school, I too will be hurtling towards a new reality.
September marks the end of my longest lasting, most fulfilling and indeed, most intimate job as a nanny. I have become more ingrained in the lives of this family than I could have imagined when this position began. After four years, my own life has seen many jarring losses, a three month sojourn to Europe, and the dissolution of a seven year relationship. The past year of my life has been spent as a live-in nanny, and I can't begin to express what a positive experience that has been. Despite many, many challenges, this family has done whatever it could to keep me with them and for that I am more grateful than they may ever know.
They gave me more than I imagined they would when I was bereaved, they encouraged me to continue my own education while still working for them, and they gave me a place to live when I was living out of a suitcase at my parents house 20 miles from work and school.
I have settled into their home now, the third floor has become a home to me. It didn't hurt that this place had already been my second home for over three years. But soon (I've given myself the start-date of August first) I will begin emptying the attic of it's remnants of me. I will turn it back into the family's spare bedroom, my own items will be sold or given away or carefully packed and stored for my return in July of next year.
I can't imagine my life without this job. I try to think about no longer being a nanny and it seems absurd. This line of work has been one of the most important things in my life for nearly 7 years now. They say do what you love. I've been lucky enough to live that adage for almost a decade. When I'm working, it doesn't feel like working- it just feels like living.
Friday, April 16, 2010
crookers
just sitting in the study quad, doing blogstuff... deleted my tumblog because i use it so infrequently. i use this one just as infrequently but i am hanging on to it because of emotional attachment. also i might like to post here once in a while. although basically all i get here anymore is spam comments.
anyway, nanny-life (at least in it's current incarnation) seems to be winding down. i'll hopefully be moving to germany this upcoming fall and spending an academic year there. who knows whether i'll come back (it's not likely.)
when i look at my life, i just can't believe how unbelievably lucky i am. i get paid to live in a mansion, play with awesome kids for 3 hours a day, eat free food, drive a volvo around town and basically just chillax. school is basically just a fun diversion at this point... nothing seriously academic. 3 german courses 3 days a week seems like so much playtime. i haven't gotten anything below a 97% on any test. the other class i take is basically my dream- weaving, dying fabric, stenciling, screenprinting, etc.
being single is basically my favorite thing in the world. i don't have anyone to answer to but myself. i do what i want, when i want. i hang out with my friends like it's going out of style. i don't have to feel sad or self conscious because of someone else's opinion of me. i just get to BE. and i love it.
i'm on speaking terms with the EX. things are weird when we see each other in person... but lately i've been texting him randomly and the replies are friendly. i guess i miss him sometimes, but it's mainly when my mind isn't occupied with anything else. and even then it's easy to remind myself how miserable i was, he was... and how i would never want to be in a relationship that was so devoid of passion ever again.
i still talk to the scottish boy... we chitchatted for about 2 hours on facebook yesterday. i still don't know what strange power he had over me... i was completely infatuated with him this summer. now i look at him and i'm like... errr.... whaaaat???
of course, there are other boy issues now but i am trying to let all that take a backseat... there's definitely no one worth writing about. oh and i joined a softball team (beer league). so that's happening.
in case anyone was wondering, we did recover the missing kitty.
xoxox
anyway, nanny-life (at least in it's current incarnation) seems to be winding down. i'll hopefully be moving to germany this upcoming fall and spending an academic year there. who knows whether i'll come back (it's not likely.)
when i look at my life, i just can't believe how unbelievably lucky i am. i get paid to live in a mansion, play with awesome kids for 3 hours a day, eat free food, drive a volvo around town and basically just chillax. school is basically just a fun diversion at this point... nothing seriously academic. 3 german courses 3 days a week seems like so much playtime. i haven't gotten anything below a 97% on any test. the other class i take is basically my dream- weaving, dying fabric, stenciling, screenprinting, etc.
being single is basically my favorite thing in the world. i don't have anyone to answer to but myself. i do what i want, when i want. i hang out with my friends like it's going out of style. i don't have to feel sad or self conscious because of someone else's opinion of me. i just get to BE. and i love it.
i'm on speaking terms with the EX. things are weird when we see each other in person... but lately i've been texting him randomly and the replies are friendly. i guess i miss him sometimes, but it's mainly when my mind isn't occupied with anything else. and even then it's easy to remind myself how miserable i was, he was... and how i would never want to be in a relationship that was so devoid of passion ever again.
i still talk to the scottish boy... we chitchatted for about 2 hours on facebook yesterday. i still don't know what strange power he had over me... i was completely infatuated with him this summer. now i look at him and i'm like... errr.... whaaaat???
of course, there are other boy issues now but i am trying to let all that take a backseat... there's definitely no one worth writing about. oh and i joined a softball team (beer league). so that's happening.
in case anyone was wondering, we did recover the missing kitty.
xoxox
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
missing kitty.
the kitty got out on christmas day. i was gone already, spending the holiday with my (biological) family, so i wasn't here when she escaped. the family i work for have postered the neighborhood, alerted the SPCA and city animal shelter, and posted ads on craigslist. at the moment, both my boss and my facebook statuses involve pleading for information on her whereabouts.
it is such an absolute bummer that she hasn't turned up. it's not the first time she's escaped but she usually wanders back hours later or sometimes as late as the next day... but she always shows up. my contention is that someone took her in because it was cold and snowy.
well, i'm not giving up hope yet.
as far as everything else; well, there's far too much to even wrap my head around for one post. lets leave it at- i'm single. i'm happy (very happy.) and hopeful for the future.
cheers and happy new year to all my blogging friends!
it is such an absolute bummer that she hasn't turned up. it's not the first time she's escaped but she usually wanders back hours later or sometimes as late as the next day... but she always shows up. my contention is that someone took her in because it was cold and snowy.
well, i'm not giving up hope yet.
as far as everything else; well, there's far too much to even wrap my head around for one post. lets leave it at- i'm single. i'm happy (very happy.) and hopeful for the future.
cheers and happy new year to all my blogging friends!
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